ORIGIN STORY
WHY I BUILT
HALFTIME FOR A LIFETIME
SM
MOVE BETTER | FEEL BETTER | LEAD BETTER
The facts don't change. Your ability to understand them does.
Halftime didn't begin with a business plan or a leadership curriculum.
It emerged over decades — from experiences I understood while I was
living them and now see very differently today. This isn't a biography.
It's the story of how those experiences, mistakes, consequences and
changing perspectives eventually became Halftime for a Lifetime.
SM
01
Why?
TWELVE YEARS IN THE MARINE CORPS
I Loved Being a Marine
02
Foundation
I spent 12 years in the Marine Corps. I was an Infantry Officer and I loved leading Marines and the Navy Corpsmen assigned to our units. To this day, I have not had more fulfilling jobs than being a Rifle Platoon Commander and Rifle Company Commander. While serving as a Rifle Company Commander, I abruptly received orders to be the 7th Marine Regiment's Assistant Operations Officer. Turned out the Regimental Operations Officer was on temporary duty in the Middle East and the regiment had three major exercises in the works. My charge was to write the operation orders for these exercises which consisted of 4000+ Marines and Sailors, 300 vehicles including tanks, and more than 100 air sortees.
There was just one problem.
I didn't want the job.
I wanted to be with my rifle company. Today, I can look at the assignment and see something that seems fairly obvious — My Regimental Commander apparently trusted me with significant responsibility. That's not what I saw then.
I saw what had been taken away from me.
And that wouldn't be the last time.
As my time was coming up to receive orders for my next duty station, I was offered the path to serve as a Recruiting Station Commanding Officer, but I wanted a command as a Security Force Company Commander in Europe where there were two available positions. That path was not offered to me.
Thirty years later, I can look at the same experiences and see things I couldn't see while I was living them. The facts of my history didn't change. My understanding did.
"My Regimental Commander apparently trusted me with significant responsibility. That's not what I saw then."
A GOOD CAREER
I Built a Career I'm Proud Of
03
I left the Marine Corps frustrated and angry because the path I wanted wasn't the path being offered to me. Then I moved on.
A career in industry and the federal government followed. Eventually, I served as Chief Learning Officer for a federal agency. I had the opportunity to work with extraordinary people, take on difficult problems, and build a career I'm proud of. But somewhere along the way, achievement became more than something I valued.
I spent an enormous amount of energy competing against myself and competeing against too many self-imposed, pie-in-the-sky measures of success. It was exhausting. My father was my hero and one of my main measuring sticks. I struggled everyday aiming for what he had acccomplished: House paid off, married for 58 years and no debt — Hell, I wasn't even in the same ballpark as he was at 40 and now at 60, I can only now pay the cost of admission to get into the ballpark. It has taken me a long time to recognize this and how my competitive mindset has on one hand been a huge reason for my success, and on the other hand, has been incredibly destructive — I have been far too reckless and I am only realizing now how often I was getting in my own way. So yes, while I was keeping score professionally, I wasn't paying nearly enough attention to some of the other scoreboards in my life.
But success in the first half can become the trap in the second half.
Success
"I spent and enormous amount of energy competing against myself and competeing against too many self-imposed, pie-in-the-sky measures of success. It was exhausting."
PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY
I Had My Reasons. I Also Had Blindspots.
04
On paper, my professional trajectory looked solid: I spent more than 35 years as a supervisor and served as the Chief Learning Officer at a federal agency, clocking thousands of hours of facilitating learning and development initiatives and facilitating high-stakes boardroom meetings and refereeing the associated massive and intense egos. I know exactly how to train leaders at the absolute highest levels of government and industry.
But something was lurking.
For decades, I could explain my behavior pretty well: Competition; stress; anger; frustration; difficult employees; difficult people — there was always an excuse for a fumble or missed expectation. Some of those failures were valid. Some probably were not. But even back then something continued to gnaw on me — Now at 60, I can look back, then turn back toward you, look you straight in the eye, and objectively tell you ...
I lacked a shit ton of maturity.
For all intents and purposes, if I didn't get my way, I'd take my toys and go home. Today, I completely get it and I own it — I was the common denominator in every success and every wreckage in my life.
That's really uncomfortable to admit.
It's also part of the record.
Accountability
"You are the common denominator in every success and every wreckage in your life."
FAMILY IS A MUCH TOUGHER CLASSROOM
The People I Love Have Taught Me the Most
05
Twice divorced, married for the last time to a person who sees me clearly and who will not hesitate to take me to the mat when I am off course. I have learned — sometimes the hard way — that relationships require more than good intentions.
My real qualification comes from what happened when the leadership skills that worked so well in my professional life didn't work so well in my personal life. I was divorced for the first time when my children were just 8 and 4 years old. For the next 20 years, their mother executed a relentless campaign of character assassination against me. I endured almost two decades of estrangement, silence, and systemic lies until the truth finally won out. I've watched people I love struggle with profound mental-health and family crises. I've stood helplessly close to situations I could not solve. Today, my 37-year-old son — a Navy veteran — looks at me with clear eyes, calls the past narrative exactly what it was, and speaks with me every single week. Sadly, my relationship with my 33-year-old daughter remains profoundly difficult.
My wife and I have faced enormous financial consequences from decisions made with the best of intentions. We have navigated family crises that forced us to make decisions no parent or grandparent ever wants to face.
"If they would only just listen to me." was my mantra for decades. And, it was an ego blow and incredibly frustrating to not be viewed and doted upon as the familial pied piper. Thing is, by trying to control everyone's trajectory and outcome the only tangilble results were tarnished experiences and wobbly relationships. In turn, I exhausted a tremendous amount of social capital trying to get the family to "see it my way."
There is no question that family is innately aware of the cracks and imperfections in our armor. And perhaps, more uncomfortably, family has a way of seeping through those cracks and imperfections to reveal all of those things you felt were better left unsaid.
Family
"It was an ego blow and incredibly frustrating to not be viewed and doted upon as the familial pied piper."
AND THEN THERE'S THIS LITTLE GIRL
I Am 60. She's 5.
06
When the generation behind my wife and I collapsed, Child Protective Services stepped in. Amidst this absolute storm, my wife and I stepped forward, took the line, and adopted our granddaughter.
This was an absolute — It was the right thing to do and it had to be done.
She is now 5 years old and has been safe, loved, and protected under our roof for the past 3 ½ years. She didn't choose her circumstances, but she sure as hell changed mine. She's the foundational reminder that the second half isn't about what I can still achieve, but who I want to be.
Retired from federal service, and now a small business owner, I never thought anything like this could or would happen.
But it did.
And thankfully.
In thirty years she will be 35 — If I make it, I'll be 90. If the, "If I make it," part of this statement isn't a swift kick between the legs and doesn't put things into perspective, I have no idea what does.
Realizing the "age delta" data point has completely changed the questions I ask today. Every minute counts. That's become a core principle behind Halftime for a Lifetime.
What I once viewed as a have-to-do, right-thing-to-do and a chore-to-do is now a gift — How could I not be humbled? I take great pride in loving her and supporting her development. I look forward to reading her bedtime stories, making her school lunches, and getting her to the school bus on time.
Today, it's not about me now — It's about her.
Daughter
"In thirty years she will be 35 — If I make it, I'll be 90. If the, "If I make it," part of this statement isn't a swift kick between the legs and doesn't put things into perspective, I have no idea what does."
SM
MY BODY HAS KEPT SCORE
07
Body
I've Had to Adapt
Two titanium hip replacement surgeries. An L5-S1 lamenectomy back surgery. A surgically reconstructed ankle. Neuropathy in both feet. My body doesn't do everything it used to, but it still gets me to and on the mountain trails, into the swimming pool and on the yoga mat, and reminds me daily to take care of what I have been given.
Getting in and out of chairs. Getting off the floor. Picking up my daughter. Things I never really paid attention to are now incredibly important.
Move Better is not just a tagline — It's a requirement.
"Getting in and out of chairs. Getting off the floor. Picking up my daughter. Things I never really paid attention to are now incredibly important."
THE QUESTIONS CHANGED
08
Questions
What Do I Want the Next Chapter to Look Like?
How do I want to live?
How do I want to feel?
What kind of husband, father and grandfather do I want to be?